Psychic Haunting

Being psychic, doesn't give you peace.

You have to learn to carve out that peace.

I receive a major vibe, makes me think I'm crazy. It can be unsettling.

Then of course, my brain takes over and I wonder is it me emotionally or is it a vibe?

I'm always a willing participant in taking on responsibility, if it is self-induced.

So, I call another psychic to clarify. Confirmed: it's a vibe, now what?

I can't change a situation, I can't stop a connection nor can I create one in my real life.

At times it makes me feel off kilter, like today, it comes in waves.

"The guy", I said to my psychic friend, "It's okay if I'm creating this emotionally, I'd actually feel better in knowing where its coming from, then I can slap me upside the head!"

I get his energy- I get the hand of the Universe.

In my heart; I want happiness in my external relationships. No tie of any sort to a man who drops in, every single time I'm getting over him. I kid you not, even when I was dating him and made a decision not to date him...I could be in the middle of nowhere and there he was!!!!

When we started dating, we had a series of bizarre coincidences. One time I was in the same place he was, unbeknownst to us both...and he text messaged me while there, only for us both to realize we were in the same place! His response, "Did God bring you to me?" Um, ya...right.

Internally, the energy makes me climb the walls. It doesn't do me any good. It doesn't make me happy. I can try to ignore it or accept it---it changes nothing.

In accepting it, I even try to daydream about him-thinking that'll give me relief.

It doesn't, because I'm emotionally not attached to him.

I don't really have any particular daydreams about him or us.

Instead, forced daydreaming inspires me to re-live, some insecure moment, having been with someone who loves you, but scares the shit out of himself in being with you.

So. Where does that leave me?

Ad nauseum--I've worked thru my emotions and cut the cord.

Asking the Universe, "why"? "Please, let the cord be cut, I'll do whatever it takes not to be haunted"...has given me no answers.

Back when I met him, I thought I was in a good place. I just had another shitty date with a guy and wasn't going to cry myself to sleep, I figured I'm good alone. Then 2 days later I meet this man.

Dating him, he always spoke in terms of forever-we're very much alike,etc...

The ridiculous magnetic pull, incomparable, since meeting my ex husband.

After a couple months of seeing him and not having had any readings for a few years, I decide to have one, just to see.

I had plenty of readings in the past.

Not much ever came true. If the miracles would have come true, I'd have been successful in my career and married by now.

The mystery man consistently described to me in detail never showed up. I met others, but never this man.

I'd have readings on the other guys I dated, always a "possibility" in terms of a relationship everlasting...but, there was always some other mystery man who supposedly held a better chance of lassoing my heart.

So, I had three readings. I never leave it to one psychic-ever. I look for the consistent statements from each one and see how it plays out.

Mmmmm...ya....all three psychics said he's the guy!

Describing things between us (one even mentioned his injury as a way of defining him), future events, marriage by the end of this year--the latest next spring. Sounded promising, eh?

I thought, it's crazy, no one has ever seen marriage with any current guy I'm dating, ever.

And when I felt anxiety with him, I'd consult another psychic and another....then after a few months, the tide shifted....

Some stuck to the marriage forecast by year's end. A few would contradict themselves: one day they said, "Yes, you'll be with him" and then a week later "No, he's not the one".

You can't argue with a psychic, just take it for what its worth.

Some saw a break coming-they could never tell if it was permanent.

Other's saw a bit of strife, but that it was temporary.

There was the velvet rope, to contend with...the psychic connection--which was strangling me.

You can't explain this to most people, cuz you sound like a sap who can't get over a guy.

Its not a point of getting over him, it's not a candle or a torch. It's white noise, weighing 2 tons! A shade of gray....and clouds so heavy, how to run from it?

I've cried, confronted myself.....done everything to get over it--realized after all the emotional trauma, time is the greatest healer...and that's fine.

MEANWHILE! How to get rid of something not emanating from me? How do I release what I've released a million times to no avail?

It's fucking annoying!

I am soooo incredibly open to a new guy. I'm in the best place I've been in to emotionally be open...and what is it I am doing wrong? Why is this the way it is? I don't get it.

Answers, please....Universe, I'm listening.