second day

Recent conversation:
I'm not mad. I understand you were just offering an ear. Nice of you, but I'm at a point where I don't have a load to spew--it's been said over and over to myself, to others....it doesn't help anymore, because it doesn't change my situation. Only way anything will make it better: a change in my circumstances.

Nice of my friend to offer, but not necessary. No need to puke upon others.

I am not attached to outcomes. My life is a dead zone each day. It has stopped having an impact on my emotional well-being. I've lost it or maybe I just let go?

I've just given up on circumstances changing. I used to jump up and down with excitement at the thought of something new, only to realize my chain is being yanked. After having your chain yanked so many times....you can't attach to any outcome and just accept this is life in the future.

I have control over my actions and reactions, but realize little else is within my realm of "force". And force never has a good outcome.

I do plant my seeds, each and everyday...eventually there will be a substantial harvest or living in my void shall continue until such a time comes in the future.