Bits and pieces

I have reached a new place with myself.

I am over everyone I ever dated (hi, yeah, let's say just for today, cuz God knows what tomorrow will bring).

It took an effort emotionally, to not fall into the "hope and dream fantasy". It took reminding my emotions of what took place and the odd clarity in which I could see it objectively.

As you know, when the cloud of smoke clears and you are truly moving toward emotional neutrality, the objectivity begins and continues. My objectivity started a few months back only to be interrupted with these momentary lapses of sanity. The last lapse culminating a week ago, was good for me.

It allowed me to submerse myself into the "reality" of what had happened and what continued to happen...and it was painful, but my emotions needed some straight talk to finally unhook once and for all.

So, with the objectivity comes the inevitable, "I did that, Oh my God what was I thinking?!" or "If this happened now, the amount of confidence I have...I would never put up with it", etc... there are many of those lightbulb moments, now that I have wound my way around the corner into freedom.

I am free...

I am okay...and at peace in this moment (God knows it could also change in a moment) HA!