Receiving wishes

I am ready to receive my wishes.

This is the end of a 13 year journey.

Ready to embark on the next journey. The waiting is over. I write in knowing that I am FINALLY allowing.

I've been allowing more and more. I didn't realize on the road to inner peace, I would encounter so much of myself.

I get it! If only for this moment, today. I invite the painless reward.

I have experienced so many shifts internally, especially in the past 9 months. I've suffered on so many levels. I'm done. No desire to struggle to have my wishes come true. I look to the universe to grant my wishes.

I'm READY for the positive massive life change, I'm trying to trust. I must sweep the doubts away. They exist, because I've been slammed in the face too many times when I believed things were going my way. I no longer invite that sort of pain to my party.

The last 2 mornings I woke up peacefully. The first time in as long as I can remember. I wished for IT, remember?

I know the fact that I'm not being lonely or needy is different in terms of marriage readiness.

I am ready for that relationship. The guy I know will either do it or won't, but I "don't think" he will. Why? The reason I "don't think" is because it is NOT a THOUGHT. It just "is".

It has nothing to do with logic or emotion, its when I quiet my mind, it comes in like a 2 ton magnet. I've never been drawn to someone in this way. I've been drawn to men, attracted to them, but not like this one. It is an attraction, but not. It is like an umbilical cord. Hard to put psychic impressions into words.

NOW, on the other hand: I logically and emotionally am open to anyone who fills the bill. I am okay with whomever is coming to get me and the other worldly connection this guy has to me may finally dissipate at that time. It's a guess.

All I know is this...I was (and still have my moments) one of those romantics who figured maybe love, wasn't in the cards. It took me a long time to get to "okay" with it, then I got there and thought, why?

Why do I have to accept the comfort level of being alone as a place to stay?

Why do I have to be alone? Why did I lock myself in a prison of acceptance?

Why did I not trust things to happen?

There is a wish or a 100 at this point, and going with the abundance of the universe and that happiness is how the Universe likes us to live, then I'm likely to fulfill them all. It is maintaining the belief which is staggering. I just have to keep swatting the doubts away when they crop up, like a pinata.