Why is it that for some suffering is nonexistent and others it is a raincoat that protects them from living life?
Suffering was my calling card, it just took me years of digging deep to finally realize that the shell of acceptance was a form of "suffering", cuz I was saying "okay" to how things "were". I was saying, sure this sucks, but I accept it, therefore I expected the suffering to abate. It never really did.
It had an ebb and flow.
It interesting, I developed an attachment to suffering. An expectation if you will. I always expected there to be a tragedy, a painful happenstance, a solitary confinement before anything good would come my way.
Ludicrous? Perhaps. There are enough spiritual traditions out there which believe suffering to be either from attachment or redemptive.
I am truly not interested in spending time suffering for any reason grand or small. I am done. I just need to detach its tentacles from around my soul and I can be on my merry way!
I will continue to throw it into the wind as I did the ashes of my ceremony.
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