How to reject correctly

As my spiritual teacher once told me. Never, ever shut the door.

You can clear the door, but you have to keep it open. If you shut it, you close yourself off to people, places and things that you may want in your life. It truly is a kinder, gentler way of being, but a very hard balance to strike.

Most self-help books in dealing with getting over someone, tell you all sorts of “neat tricks”, most put the focus off you and on the other person. It isn’t all about them. It is about you too. One of the things I have tried to do is focus on the positive in getting over someone. What did I like about them? I am more interested in knowing “what I want”, rather than “what I don’t want”. I can take that with me to my next relationship; I can think and believe in a person I have not met yet ,with those qualities that I absolutely adored in the last guy.

It is an odd way of getting over someone, just as painful, but more positive. I feel lighter like there is less baggage, maybe I am wrong and won’t know until the one “appears”. In knowing how we are mirrors for one another, it would seem to me as I create my life and live in the attitude I hope to have for the rest of my days, that I can’t help but attract a person who is sharing my reflection.

I know I have cut the ties with the last guy. I finally succeeded in removing my psychic pull. I doubt I will ever run into him again, unless it is something I had no part in energetically. I feel freer, even though I still get an image of him standing in the doorway, trying to block the entrance from another guy. As I said before, if you can’t make up your mind about what you want, please step aside and let all who know what they want have a try. He has a shrine at home that he prays too; he will find someone else who also holds a shrine from the past close to her heart too.

I’m not rejecting the guy as a person. I’m rejecting how it made me feel, the type of relationship I had with him did not bring out my best qualities. That did not qualify as something worth repeating, ever. I want good between myself and who I am with in the future; I want to be at my best. And if I am serious about bringing in the good, then I must keep releasing the mediocre, the not so good and the 10 steps backwards sort of relationship.

I also don’t fault him, he was a mirror and hopefully that mirror has changed. I feel the usefulness of that mirror served a purpose. I look at myself so differently now, I almost feel like a new person. I hope the mirror is pointing in a different direction toward a new sunny horizon, with yet unseen travels, people and a man who suits me just right.