Just a daily adventure

As I continue to crack my ass open and be "vulnerable" to ridicule in my enduring "belief" of my wish to have a husband before my next birthday...I had a friend back in Nashville ask me if I knew anyone there for her to connect with for business.

I told her I had another entertainment industry exec and would see if he was open to an introduction.

She asked if there was anything she could do for me...ahem. I, in my new found living the "intentionally" crazy wish-like life, told her she could help in my quest.

Ummm..so she writes me back this morning and says she has a rather bizarre offer. It appears a friend of hers "reps" a millionaire matchmaker out here in L.A. who happens to have a radio show. They are always looking for fresh meat, errr, I mean, "open to receiving" an introduction to a wonderful man. She said it cost nothing and couldn't hurt. I agreed.

You should know, this is sooooooo against what I normally would do, but I'm living large and am committed to having the commitment. I am good with it though, just another door opening up to more possibilities.

Meanwhile, the other guy from eHarmony who I have been conversing with is the first experiment for me. I decided I was not going to pull my usual, "wait and see" or "go with the flow" in terms of letting the guy steer the ship of information. I don't mind the guy steering the ship in terms of "next step", but I tend to shortchange myself in not asking questions.

So, I composed an email this morning and asked a few probing questions. Not questions in terms of "he and I", but in terms of certain things which may challenge him in the context of a relationship. Here is an excerpt:

So, I was thinking I would send a few questions as we get to know each other. And I am totally making this up as I go; I have never been one in the past to ask much. I have always tended to just go with the flow as far as getting to know someone over time.

I joined eHarmony, because I am in a place of openness to someone who can be a partner for the long run. I, myself, have had to do a ton of soul searching in "being real" with myself and what my responsibility is in not having had a successful committed relationship (cuz if I obviously had, I wouldn't be here,LOL). I am interested in not being "perfect" LOL! And having real communication. I am an optimistic person by nature, but have been through many trials/tribulations....which in going through these things has left me with a greater appreciation of the world, people and life in general.

By the way, I will gladly answer anything you want to throw my way.

• So, what for you is the way you usually go about resolving problems?

• What would you say the areas are in a relationship that are difficult for you emotionally when it comes to communication with your partner?

• What do you want from a relationship?

• Who is your favorite cartoon character?

The last question is very important to me, it determines if we are definitely compatible, HA!

I felt so funky after I sent it that I knew I did the right thing. Why? Because I opened myself up to rejection, I opened myself up to not playing it safe and when I center myself, I know that no matter what his response is...I am being true to myself. It will save me the heartache down the line, especially if he responds with not looking for a long term relationship with anyone sort of answer. Then it is time for "next"!