End of what the fuck day

So, all is not lost.

Well some of it is lost, but it has been lost for a long time and I have no intention of trying to figure out where the fuck I left it....whatever it was.

My friend "C" offered a room at her place if needed or a few hundred dollars if that would make the difference up in rent.

My friend "H' is offering space and of course, has decided she is my new chaperone or am I hers? She is at the very least my newly self-appointed activity Director, much to the surprise of two other friends who like control of my social schedule at least a couple nights a week.

My friend "K" would like me to move down by her, but my youngest is in high school still and I know running away never solved a damn thing, although being homeless doesn't either.

My friend "A" decided I could come up with some viral sorta ideas for his company.

My friend "M" as we know, told me "go forth and make it happen". (In other words this is actually a project)

Unemployment looks like it will continue for awhile, thank God...cuz who knows when the hell I will get paid.

My other friend "K" said I could move in with her....

And my friend "L" just tried to cheer me on and up!

My kids are funny, thankfully...whether they intend to be or not.

I don't feel any better though, well I take that back...I have stopped myself from being a sobbing mess for most of today...that is a step. None of it is stable, I know...I know...nothing in life ever really is...but I feel like I am skiing down a glacier at full speed or taking a dive into the bottom of an outhouse. Submerged is where I end up, so NOT interested in buying scuba gear anymore.

We'll see what tomorrow brings. And hopefully I will be one step closer to being over that asshole. Oops did I call him a name?

At least it dawned on me earlier that I do not want to hear from him now....even that little part of me that always wants the satisfaction...is of the belief that I need to be in a stronger place, as in "really" over him to make sure I never go back. If it happens too soon, (zoiks!) I may be persuaded like the puddle I am capable of melting into (sigh). Emotions are the retarded, red-headed stepchild in each of us (no offense to anyone who falls in that category--really--I mean none directly)...but emotions are their own thing--separate worlds from the intellect that is for sure!

I probably will never hear from him again (I really think there is a 90% chance of this)...and that makes me breathe a sigh too...afterall please remember, he did take his balls and ship them off to another country...

I think his balls are living it up and having a better time visiting the rest of the world, than the weak and wimpy ass they left behind. Never again.