A summary

So...synchronicity. I will know very soon if there is really anything to it all.

I started updating the blog for my friend M, who I met with prior to leaving on vacation to hell. He definitely wanted me to work on being their "blogger" at that time. Then while I was out of town he sent me the budget, it will pay my electric bill for the most part. Beyond that--total joke!

So, last Friday I interviewed his partner for the blog...after forcing myself to release the knobs on the oven where I wanted to stick my head into at that moment.

Anyways, Monday was a holiday.

Tuesday rolls in. I get an email from "M" asking how it was going with the blog. How strange I think to myself. He never has cared or shown much interest in any small project I did for him over the years.

I always felt I have forced him to let me do work for him at times. Guess I am just worn out, cuz my desire to even do the blog is at a minus 30.

Weird synchronicity with him started around the same time as Cherub. My memory is horrible, but there was a while in which I kept thinking he and I should be working together, but then I was unsure and not really feeling he was interested in my doing work for them, etc...

BUT, I kept running into him. Weird shit--like Sunday morning at 6 a.m. I pull in to get gas before my run, and who is the only person there----HIM. I go to the grocery store one afternoon, after referring someone to him....and there he is in the aisle. A week later, same thing, different time. We asked each other if the other was staking one another.

On the street, we'd run into each other....I never understood and still don't the significance.

Until today, I am DEPRESSED--totally across the board, my entire life is affected. I go on my morning walk. Who do I run into? Yup! M....and he says, you need to call me. It wasn't weird enough yesterday that the emails I got from him were showing interest business wise....now I run into him. Then I think, he probably wants me to cancel the blog stuff.

I am walking and crying, I am going to have to move, my love life in tatters, no money even for gas or food, thinking everything I keep planting, pulling weeds, re-seeding, etc...for months and truly remaining non-attached most of the time (good luck if you can achieve this all the time)...has gotten me to the bottom of the barrel.

I went home and wrote to my landlord, still haven't heard back...anyways, I am jumping around.

So, I go home and cry more. I gave it all up to the Universe, the burden of carrying it anymore. I can't do it. I am not that strong. And I would say prior to the trip with cherub, my ability to see the bright side and truly believe in the good was about 25 out of 30 days a month. Not bad.

So...I get an email from his partner, all excited about the blog. He also mentions that M wants me to do something else for them too. I am thinking, oh goody....another project at way below cost?

So, I stop crying trying to clear my clogged nose and call him.....voice mail.

I figure "whatever", two seconds later I get an email with subject line: i have work for you.

Hmmmm...I email back, we end up chatting on the phone, he wants to do something I told him about 6 months ago. Now he wants me to do a presentation at their staff meeting in the afternoon tomorrow. No problem.

If this turns out to be anything, maybe there is something to running into him. Maybe synchronicity is alive and well in my life. And maybe with Cherub it was more of a fluke?

THE REASON I SAY SYNCHRONICITY AT ALL? Well, in running into him a bunch of times and IF this truly works out......IT IS MY FUCKING PROFESSIONAL FUTURE!!!!!!!

That's why! It is a niche, it is something I thought "How would I offer to do this for someone?" and "M" took it a step further....and has now rounded out exactly how this service I do is now going to be a business. He is more convinced than me.

And without him, it may not ever have a chance to come to fruition. Just remember SMO and SMM. That'll be me with many, many clients....IF this all goes North.

I may be living out of a box doing it, but as long as I have a laptop, electiricty and wifi or somethin'.....I can do it!