Way back down the country

So, bumping along in the back of an RV.

We're headed homeward with a detour. Thought we may stop elsewhere and go skiing, but it was decided we would spend time in Vegas.

Not sure what the whole deal is with Cherub.

No sex last night, he came to bed, said he was tired and stayed the hell away from me. I really hate having a wall with someone. I know it comes from two places. One--my unease and discomfort, because I don't know where I stand...and the other is the "wall" I feel from him in wanting to communicate.

This is unhealthy, yet intriguing.

He stayed with me skiing today. He said he was going to help fine tune me and was excited cuz we were going to Vegas and seeing a show, blah, blah, blah.

No in-depth conversations.

The controlling person on the trip met up with us, changed our direction and we ended up elsewhere on the slopes. He was in control. I forgot what happened, but I yelled at them both after 4 days of this bullshit...."Do either of you two fucking listen?" I felt better, because I got a response and I just started speaking my mind to a point. I told him I had never been around a group of people who know how to communicate less. I also told him he was all over the map, I had no idea where he was at, etc...

I should have just slept on the couch the whole time, but we have chemistry so it is hard. Anyways, he was all sorts of happy to me...saying how I should know him well by now (sure) and claiming the lunch leftovers I made, because he decided I made them with 'my" love for him and that he was the sole beneficiary.....and announced this to everyone on the trip. He went from treating me like I was nonexistent, to his girlfriend, to his buddy to God knows what!

This has not been very fun. Glad I can ski again, but other than that this trip has been boring and no one seems to want to converse about anything real. He had me sit next to him about an hour ago and massage his neck, he was getting tired and said that would help him stay awake. He gave me a BIG hug earlier and was all excited.....I know the man told me two days ago that he was a bad communicator....and I know that about him....but still!!!!

I feel like I constantly have to communicate....except it is uncomfortable. NEVER AGAIN!

I just want to get home and away from him, so I can ground myself and sort of let things fall where they may.