2nd time

Met the Cherub this morning. One of his clients had not seen in him in awhile and was quite surprised to see how much weight he put on and she made a comment, "you sure gained a lot of weight".

He said to her, "Well round is a shape too". He is quite round....hard to believe in 8 months he put all that weight on...and of course I have my own 10-15 lbs, I gained because of my injury, limiting me to walking instead of running. That has been difficult for me over the past 6 months to purposely change my eating habits...we have been a mirror for each other in a weird way.

He brought up buying me bike shoes again, so I can use one of his bicycles to ride with him. He also had other ideas about starting an exercise group, hiking with me, etc...I'll hold my breath--and probably pass out waiting for that to transpire.

He also asked me again if, I ski. And then said he was renting a private house on a ski slope in another state in which you "ski in and ski out" of privately. He sort of asked me to go in a really lame way. I told him I am not real crazy about being last choice or an afterthought (which I was feeling that I wasn't going to know the truth if he felt that way or was covering it up). His kids probably weren't going as originally planned and his group of guy friends looked like they weren't going either. He thought since I wasn't working maybe I'd want to go. I am only interested in going if someone plans a trip with me in mind....and that my friend, I can wait for...going with some man, somewhere.

I am starting to think the process I have been in to bring the love of my life into "my life" brings everything that I still have to deal with and clear out.

I am thinking he is one of those things, that I shall never repeat.

We are supposed to meet Friday morning early, cuz he has to go out of town for his hobby this week-end. And has all sorts of stuff to do beforehand.